All Marketers Are Liars by Seth Godin

Are they all the same?

So, here's a glimpse at the ski rental rack at Paragon.

Lots of skis to choose from, obviously.

Except, of course, that the biggest difference is in the graphics. Skis today have a lot more in common than they have in differences. But that won't stop the prospective customer from spending quite a few minutes trying to decide which ski to rent.

Each ski tells a story. It's a lie about image and performance and suitability. But if that lie makes the skiing more enjoyable, gives us the confidence to try new things and do them better, then it's not a lie after all.

People desperately want to believe stories. Even if that story is just a few drops of ink on a plastic sheet.

Piles and piles

Costco fever, this time at my local Stew Leonard's. It's not clear to me that the price on these socks and snacks (of course, socks and snacks, right next to each other!) is particularly good. And there's certainly no reason to stack them up in such a huge pile.

Except there is. The reason is that the stack is lying to you, telling you a story about volume and value and urgency. This must be a great deal! They bought so many! They've got to clear them out! (and then, paradoxically, "They might run out soon!")

The punchline: this works because people like us like it. It makes us feel good to buy what feels like a bargain, even if it's not.

To serve you better?

No promotion lasts forever. Got that. But when you end a promotion and start a new one, why lie about it? The reason that the unredeemed points become  worthless is  not  because they're taking up valuable room and need to be moved out the way for an even better program. Consumers are too smart for this. They usually ignore it, or, if they do notice it, they just get more cynical.

6 million stickers.

Today's entry in the marketing stupidity hall of fame is for Simon Malls | More Choices - Simon.com. (note the ironic web site name). Simon runs shopping malls.

Last year, Simon sold 6 million "Giftcards". That's a gift certificate that looks like a credit card. This is great news for them. Why? Because 4 to 20% of all gift certificates are never redeemed--which means that if you figure the average one is for $20, they're making as much as $12,000,000 in profit with no effort.

Is that enough for Simon? No way. The Simon card is boobytrapped. After six months, Simon starts deducting $2.50 each month. Which means that if you don't use your card right away, it becomes worthless. The astonishing thing on top of all the other astonishing things is that Simon should want you to not use your card right away... they get the interest on the money!

Simon added all sorts of other stupid features, like an expiration date (cash doesn't expire!) and other fine print charges.

So anyway, Simon got caught. Eliot Spitzer, NY Attorney General, is suing them. Instead of saying, "Hey, this is a dumb policy, let's just overhaul the thing," Simon is fighting back, arguing jurisdiction, putting little stickers on the back of the cards, claiming that now it's okay.

No, it's not okay. It's dumb and it's deceitful. It's dumb because it involves tricking customers (and their friends, the gift recipients). It creates nothing but negative conversations.