The buddy system
Here's the best way to improve your business plan or your resume:
Have someone else write it.
Find a friend of a friend, a document-buddy, someone who needs the same thing done for them, but not someone who is a close friend. And then interview each other and write the other person's plan.
Don't show them the existing plan or document, and don't read it to them. Have a conversation. Tell your story. Answer questions. And then see what they come up with.
Writing about yourself is infinitely harder than writing about someone else--and you're going to discover that the story you thought you were telling probably isn't the story that's coming across.